To the Moms Who Want to Find Themselves Again

“Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”
–Jonathan Safran Foer

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“The Art of Teaching Art” Exhibit. Huntington Museum of Art.

And I can. There are so many things I want to be and do each and every day, but I find myself being and doing less and less. I refuse to dwindle away into a person I don’t know or like. I refuse to lose myself in being somebody’s mom, wife, co-worker. Although those parts of me are pieces of who I am, they are just that, pieces. Who I am is not defined wholly by them.

“Be as you wish to seem.” –Socrates

So, I will, and as a testament to myself, I’ll list all the things I wish to be and to seem. I hope it inspires you–mama, co-worker, wife, husband, dad, student, athlete, whoever you are–to do the same.

I wish to grow a vegetable garden.

I wish to seem confident, even on days when I’m not.

I wish to shrug off hurtful things others say and not merit them with a reaction.

I wish to be the mom that listens to classical music. And dances when I think no ones watching.

I wish to drink my wine red and my coffee black.

I wish to spend my free-time–whatever that is–writing. Writing something that will make an impact.

I wish to be the wife that plays cutesy games and writes little notes.

I wish to actually do my hair more often.

I wish to recycle.

I wish to reuse and refurbish the things around me, whether for myself or for others.

I wish to know happiness as a truth.

I wish to listen–I mean really listen–to what people are saying more often.

I wish to run far and eat clean.

I wish to leave people feeling empowered.

I wish to inspire.

I wish to do yoga and stand on my head, effortlessly.

I wish to consistently be on time.

I wish to travel.

I wish to get my Master’s degree.

I wish to be the person that people feel they can confide in.

I wish to laugh so hard I cry more.

I wish to seem like this person, and so I will strive to become her. To become who I wish to be. To become who I am. To be as I wish to seem.

Your turn, mama.

 

10 thoughts on “To the Moms Who Want to Find Themselves Again

  1. We can always look to improve ourselves, which is great! I can say, as a mom of 6 with only 2 left at home, there are seasons in our life for different focus. I like it that you are trying to be a better person! that’s what we all need to do.

    • There are definitely seasons in our life for different focus! For me, this is the season to focus on being a mother but also to improve and never lose myself so my children can grow up watching and learning from the best version of their mother. Thanks for reading, Samantha! Mother of 6–I admire you!

  2. I wish to refind my love for coffee
    I wish to do my garden and have a flower patch
    I wish to learn how to use a sewing machine and make items
    I wish i was more crafty for my house
    One day, when my energy is back, for now its ok to just daydream about it 🙂

  3. Ooooh, I should do a nice, long list like this for myself. but here are a few, off the top of my head: I wish I could learn to let go of grudges, I wish I could accept my new body and not feel guilty over having baby weight, I wish I could make more time to relax and reconnect with myself and no distractions.

  4. I love this list! I know how you feel, some days I just wish to put the laundry away, and just can’t do it, and feel so dissapointed in myself. I try and remind myself that my kids are happy and that’s all that matters!

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