1. You almost literally spend your entire day picking up, cleaning and washing clothes, but at the end of the day, for the life of you, you cannot explain how your house looks the exact same as it did that morning.
2. Someone comes to the door unannounced and you can guarantee they assume you’re a lazy so-and-so who’s spending the day on the couch and hasn’t washed anyone or cleaned anything in weeks.
3. That stain … everywhere.
4. What’s that smell?
5. You’ve almost completed a task uninterrupted, you realize it seconds before finishing, panic and quickly locate each child.
6. Is it nap time yet?
7. You see there are truly similarities between parenting and partying: cleaning up children’s–or grown children’s–vomit, being so tired–or recreational–that colors make sound, staying up until 1am every night and knowing half of the people around you only like you for your boobs.
8. People ask you to hang out when they’re off work and you’ve stopped feeling bad when you say ‘no,’ because, well, you’re never really off work.
9.You can honestly say you’ve held deep, intellectual conversations about poop.
10. Is it bedtime yet?